Of many universal techniques that Dale Carnegie mentions about making friends and relations that succeeds, one stands out, ‘If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.’ We often feel disillusioned about friendship being a subjective issue. Why don’t I have friends like other people? How do I influence people? We often judge ourselves on the number of friends we have. Apart from friendship being a subjective issue, there are some universal techniques available which can be used to help you get closer to someone. Leaders in the field like Philanthropist and businessman Warren Buffet and writers such as Dale Carnegie have outlined various such principles of influencing people to like you. Here are some of the best principles which have emerged from the book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie.
Being a No Complaining Person
Carnegie writes and I quote, ‘Any fool can criticize, condemn or complain- and most fools do.’ By this statement, he means that criticizing and complaining about other people’s deeds and situations often makes us look terrible. He mentions that a strong and willful person would often forgiving though it takes a lot of character to become one. By applying this principle in life, one becomes innate to situations which often break relations. Condemning or complaining about things or situations habituates us on keeping tagged with the past. Therefore forgiving is necessary.
Being Generous and remembering their Names always
Being generous does the trick of socializing the people easily. Praising other people for their deeds and situations they were in can often make people feel happy and praiseworthy for themselves. We often forget names of people we meet on our daily lives and when we meet them again, this can become very troubling as well. If we can train ourselves to remember names of people we meet, this will make them feel special and important. If they feel important, they would always respect you and help in all conditions. Carnegie writes, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Be Really Inspired by Other Individuals
When we meet other people, we often tend to ask about them and their health. Get a step ahead and inquire about their interests. These interests influence individuals in their personal lives and seeing that you are generally interested in them can help them trust you. Carnegie makes us understand that by saying that while meeting people, we must try to listen 75% of the time and talk for the rest of time. Make other people believe that you are really interested in their talks and that would make them comfortable with you.
Recognize your own mistakes
Nothing will make individuals more pleased than you being unassuming and sufficiently sensible to concede your own mix-ups. Having solid and stable individual and expert connections depends on you assuming liability for your activities, particularly your slip-ups. If you go on to recognize your mistakes and slip-ups with people, you are most likely to impress them as an individual who is righteous. Always try to recognize your mistakes and apologize whenever required. This will not only make you righteous but also wise.
Try not to “Win” a Contention always
The most ideal approach to win any contention, Carnegie mentions, is to maintain a strategic distance from it.Even in the event that you totally destroy somebody’s contention with target certainties, you won’t be any nearer to achieving an understanding with them if you made individual contentions. Carnegie referred to a familiar axiom: ” A man convinced against his will/Is of the same opinion still.”
Start on Shared belief
On the off chance that you are having a conflict with somebody, you begin on shared opinion and slip your way into the troublesome subjects. On the off chance that you start on polarizing ground, you’ll never have the capacity to recuperate, and may lose ground with subjects on which you concur. Therefore always try to concur on shared opinions.
Have others believe that your conclusion is theirs as well
Individuals cannot be compelled to think anything, and influential individuals comprehend the intensity of recommendation over interest. Figure out how to plant the seed, and as opposed to telling individuals they’re wrong, locate the shared belief and convince them that what they truly need is your ideal result (clearly without revealing to them that is the situation).