Fostering Emotionally Agile Leadership: The only sustainable way to lead in the age of attrition and uncertainty

By Joseph Fung is the CEO and co-founder of Uvaro – a career success company that provides people with the practical and soft skills needed to succeed in new careers in the technology sector.

The definition of a “leader” has traditionally been restrictive in nature. Over time, the fallacy in the conviction that leaders are immune to vulnerabilities and emotions became increasingly pronounced. Once relegated as weaknesses, “emotions” are now recognized as powerful tools we can channel to our advantage. Further, research has shown that effective leaders can and should embrace their vulnerability and share their true feelings to build a culture of trust, compassion, empathy, and fortitude.

What it means to be emotionally agile

To be emotionally agile is to understand and acknowledge our emotions and reactions to channel them into worthwhile and productive actions, instead of being in denial of our feelings. Introduced by Susan David in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article, emotional agility refers to “an individual’s ability to experience their thoughts and emotions and events in a way that doesn’t drive them in negative ways, but instead encourages them to reveal the best of themselves.” In a way, it is about the quality of being psychologically flexible- acknowledging your feelings in any given situation and choosing thoughtful responses in the place of impulsive reactions. It reflects an individual’s capacity to focus on what’s in front of them openly and with curiosity, to behave and take action in line with personal values and goals, but only after evaluating if the situation can afford it.

Leaders and emotional agility

To meaningfully connect with people and lead them, it is essential for leaders to first understand and gain clarity about themselves. When we are aware of what drives us, triggers us, and how we respond to stress, we put ourselves in a better position to be genuinely empathetic towards those around us. Understanding that we, ourselves, have clear preferences allows us to be more mindful and seek clarity around the preferences of others. This is especially true when we consider the type of leadership styles we best align to and perform for. Otherwise, if we are completely detached from our own feelings, it makes it especially difficult to be able to understand the feelings or motivations of others.

It’s never too late to unlearn patterns of behaviors that no longer serve our best interests. When leaders work towards connecting with their authentic selves, acknowledging the best and worst of their life experiences, they move closer to connecting with their genuine styles of leadership and communication. Not suppressing or denying the impact of our experiences and feelings empowers us to consciously steer away from the mistake of trying to be something we are not. Authenticity is key to emotional agility- otherwise, we risk distrust among our teams and colleagues.

Workplaces become more conducive to conversations and practices that take into account their employees’ emotional wellbeing and less prone to toxic approaches that could taint mental health and productivity when leadership is empathetic. This does not mean that leaders need to become mental health experts to support employees or demonstrate they are paying attention. Regularly checking in, asking questions and taking cues are all important steps toward creating healthier work environments. When leaders were perceived as more empathetic, people reported greater levels of mental health.

Empathy in the time of distress

The mass exodus of employees leaving their jobs over the past two years speaks volumes about their expectations from their workplaces. If we listen to their feedback, what we can hear is they want to work in environments where they feel valued, and that certainly includes emotional support. No one was prepared for the unprecedented shift in their work lives and the challenges that accompanied the new ways of working. Alongside coping with the uncertainties of a global pandemic, employees were expected to quickly rise to the occasion and make demanding adjustments within their personal lives as well as workplaces.

With the boundaries between personal and professional lives blurring to make room for meeting expectations from both sides, frustrations, anxieties, and insecurities are more likely to play out than not. According to a global study, 42% of people have self-reported that they have experienced a decline in their mental health since the onset of the pandemic. 67% say they experienced increases in stress while 57% dealt with increased anxiety, and 54% found themselves emotionally exhausted. In many ways, it has been a period that put leaders and organizations to the test but it was also a time when apathy for mental and emotional well-being emerged as a dealbreaker.

Fast forward to today and return to work policies are increasingly becoming huge drivers of stress. In an interesting juxtaposition, a recent McKinsey article compares the stress experienced by employees while reintegrating into offices to that of the emotional reaction of soldiers returning from deployment. While working from the office or home is, in no way comparable to the intensity of serving in a combat zone, the feelings of confusion, grief, anger, and uncertainty can hold parallels in both cases. More than ever, employees expect their leaders to make decisions that go beyond what’s best for business and consider, with compassion, what’s best for their people, too. In other words, these challenges need to be considered more as a multifaceted human problem than a singular business problem.

Emotional agility and the future of work

The ways in which we work will continue to evolve over time as new technologies emerge and our society changes to keep pace. For leaders with a growth mindset, the future of work holds many challenges which can be great opportunities to build better teams and foster more productive and positive cultures. Teams will become increasingly multicultural and eliminating unconscious bias will be imperative to making workplaces truly inclusive and respectful for all. This requires us to empathize and work together with those who are different from us.

It is not surprising that one of the top skills employers are looking for in new recruits is empathy. The ability to empathize with customers and colleagues not only translates into building meaningful relationships but also significantly enhances the quality of work. When work goes beyond being merely transactional to incorporate a deeper understanding of human nature, the impact you achieve is more than just targets and deliverables. And, when it comes to personal and professional growth, empathy is a highly rewarding quality that broadens our perspectives, inspiring us to look at the world differently. It also enhances our ability to understand customers better, gain insights into their lives and behaviors to perform exceptionally well in customer facing roles and even in roles that only deal with them indirectly.

In conclusion

Leaders are looked up to and relied on by everyone at an organization for guidance and reassurance. Naturally, this vests them with the power to positively influence others and the capacity to set stellar standards for workplace practices. By demonstrating emotional agility, leaders not just equip themselves with the aptitude to understand their people and create a nurturing environment but also inspire others to embrace their vulnerabilities and use emotions to their advantage.